is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
