God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
