I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
