He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
