I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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