Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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