There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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