You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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