he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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