i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
