See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
