You made me cry and you don't even care
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
