You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
