is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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