i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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