Plan B is the new Plan A
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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