would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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