Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
