I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
