Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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