I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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