Pappa wants mamma naked
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
