Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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