I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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