Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
