I am spending my child support on dildos
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
