He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
