Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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