i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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