I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
