He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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