I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
