His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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