I'm going to jail i love you
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
