covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
