He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
