True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
