what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
