Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
