you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
