I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize