i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
