she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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