dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
