i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
