That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
