Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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