bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
