I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
