that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
