in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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