Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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