16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
