My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
