Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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