I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
