worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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