I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My pussy is not your playground.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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