Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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