Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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