Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
