I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
