I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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