the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
