Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
