my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
