Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
