I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
