Come see our sink grown plant.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
