i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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