were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
