I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Can you bring me the toilet please
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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