Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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