quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
